


Crime & Punishment

by F1_rabbit



Category: Formula 1 RPF
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-05
Updated: 2016-05-05
Packaged: 2018-06-06 01:42:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,137
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6732898
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/F1_rabbit/pseuds/F1_rabbit
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Carmen wishes that Jo could know what it's like to be a woman, and Carlos is only too happy to help.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Crime & Punishment

**Author's Note:**

> This was the fic 'Revenge' that I took down, changed slightly so that I could work out the issues with it - in the end I changed two sentences... and the title.

Carmen liked Jo, he seemed like a nice guy, most of the time. But right now, she was wishing that a lot of horrible things would happen to him.

"If you worked harder then you could have a drive in Formula One," Jo said, and Carmen wondered how someone so smart could be so dumb.

"It's not that simple and you know it. Even if I was as good as you, you would still get the drive over me." Carmen felt like she was talking to a child, surely he understood how this worked, how society was?

"If there were any female racers that were that good, they would have a drive." Jo tilted his head in confusion, usually it was adorable but Carmen just wanted to shake him for being so dumb.

"Then why are there no women racing in Formula One?" Carmen stared at him and he furrowed his brow as he tried to think of an answer.

"Women have different priorities, they want children." Jo shrugged and Carmen looked at him in exasperation. "This job is about talent, they don't care who's driving, as long as they are fast." Jo folded his arms, he considered the argument over and Carmen was determined not to let him have the last word.

"If you were in my shoes you wouldn't be saying that." Carmen walked off, she couldn't bear to hear another word out of his mouth. If their friendship was to survive, she didn't want to see him again today. She just wished that he could see the world as women experienced it, she was sure he wasn't a bad guy, just brainwashed by society.

She stood at the back of the garage, fidgeting with her necklace. Her grandmother had left it to her and it brought her comfort just knowing it was there.

*

Jo had gone to Carmen's hotel room but there was no answer, he wanted to say sorry, but he wasn't sure that he was in the wrong. Both his sisters were successful in their fields, as was his mum, and hard work seemed to be the key, it wasn't anything to do with gender.

He knocked on her door one last time, leaning in to see if he could hear her moving in there but there was nothing, either she was somewhere else or she was asleep. Jo looked at his phone, there were no messages and he was sure that spamming Carmen with calls or texts wouldn't be appreciated.

*

Carmen wasn't in her room because she was with Carlos, telling him all about what Jo had said and how mad she was.

"I'm sure that he didn't meant it to sound so…" Carlos was trying to think of a tactful word for misogynistic but his mind came up with nothing. "He's not a bad guy."

"He's not a good guy either." Carmen still considered Jo a friend, but she couldn't believe his views on some things. "I just wish that he could understand what it's like to be a woman. That it's not as simple as just working hard."

"I could make that happen." Carlos grinned and Carmen laughed, the idea of Jo in a dress and heels was ridiculous.

"Thanks sweetie." Carmen hugged him tight and she felt much better for laughing, releasing all the tension in her body.

"No really. My grandfather was a _brujo_ and he passed it down to me." Carlos stared at her, big brown eyes that had no trace of deceit in them.

"You're a wizard?" Carmen had to stifle a laugh, her mind was overactive and picturing Carlos pulling a rabbit out of a hat while waving a wand.

Carlos rolled his eyes and shook his thick dark locks out of his face. "Do you want my help or not?"

"What can you do to help? Turn him into a frog?"

"I can do better than that. I can turn him into a woman." Carlos grinned and Carmen's mouth fell open, she knew it was silly, probably just Carlos having a laugh, but a bit of her wanted to see what Carlos could do.

*

Jo was moping about, Marcus texted to ask if he was still on for the summer holidays. They'd decided to head to the summer home that Marcus' family had, in the north of Sweden. Apparently it was secluded and by a lake, so they'd be able to chill out and swim, which was going to be nice.

Marcus sent him all the flight details, they were heading there straight after this race weekend, with the break being so short this year there was no time to go back to the factory before the break, and Jo was glad of that, he was in dire need of a break.

He forwarded all the details to Carmen, and called his brother to check that he was all sorted for joining them. It was going to mean an early start tomorrow, and Jo crawled into bed, hoping that in the morning Carmen would be ready to talk to him again.

*

"I need some of his hair." Carlos had collected an odd assortment of items, and he'd drawn a pentagram on the bathroom floor using conditioner, on the grounds that it would be easier to clean up. There was something written in a language that she didn't understand on the hotel's notepad, and Carlos had placed the note in the centre of the pentagram.

Carmen shrugged off the hoodie she was wearing, checking the hood for any stray hairs. "Got one." She held out the short dark hair, clearly not hers, and now Carlos thought about it, the hoodie was too big to be Carmen's, although he'd just assumed that she liked her clothes baggy.

"What do you want him to look like?" Carlos showed no sign of joking, and Carmen was starting to wonder if she should really be messing around with these things, but she didn't believe Carlos, she was certain that he was just winding her up.

So, she got her phone out of her pocket and found a picture of Jo and his sisters. "Like this?"

Carlos placed her phone in the pentagram, photo zoomed in to show just Jo's older sister, and Carmen felt the crackle of static electricity in the air.

"You have to believe in this to make it work." Carlos moved Carmen's hands so that they were either side of the pentagram, nodding as she glanced at him.

He was chanting in a language that she didn't understand, and she thought about what Jo would look like as a woman, six foot with curly black hair and muscular body that would border on manly.

Carlos held Jo's hair in one hand, right over the centre of the pentagram. He sparked the lighter into life, holding the flame to the end of the hair and watching as it burned all the way up until it reached his fingers. The ashes of the hair floated down and Carlos watched as the flame went out.

"It's done."

***

Jo groaned as his alarm went off, he groped around for his phone and as he rolled over onto his front he felt a pain in his chest. Not a serious pain, just a discomfort, as though there was something pressing into him.

He knew he didn't have long to get washed and dressed before Carmen would be here so that they could head to the airport together. Jo stumbled into the bathroom, eyes barely open as he wandered into the shower. His body felt strange but he was sure it was just the exertion of the race yesterday, he was ready for some rest and relaxation after a long first half to the season.

Jo squeezed the shower gel out and washed his face, letting the water run over him. He went to wash his body and that was when alarm bells started ringing, his pecs felt swollen and when he looked down he saw the true horror of what had happened to his body.

He had breasts and worst of all, he was missing his cock.

Jo let out a noise like a dying wolf and he kept feeling at his body as though it was just a trick of his mind. He washed the soap off and stepped out of the shower, not bothering with towels as he wandered into the room, in search of a mirror that wasn't steamed up.

The more he stared at his reflection the more he was sure that it was a dream, or a hallucination, and he felt his stomach twist in fear, unable to make sense of it all. He had breasts that were barely bigger than his pecs, he was still muscly but there was a curve to his hips, and he was missing something very important. His hand strayed down to feel it, but his mind couldn't deal with it and his hand snapped away before it reached the end of the hair. It was enough to confirm that certain things were definitely missing and that was shocking enough.

Jo had no idea how long he was stood there, but a knock on his door roused him out of his trance and had him panicking about who it was and how he could hide what had happened to him.

He tried to put on his jeans but they wouldn't fit over his hips and he slung on some jogging bottoms and a hoodie, pulling the hood up around his face. Carmen knocked again and Jo let out a whimper, this was all a mess and he didn't know how long he could hide it from her.

Jo opened the door and Carmen stared at him. "Are you ready to go? Our taxi's due in five minutes."

"Yes." That definitely wasn't his voice, not even close, he sounded more like his sister, and he collapsed onto the floor. Carmen rushed over and up close, she would see that he wasn't himself. There was fear in Carmen's eyes and Jo felt sick to his stomach, his eyes tearing up as he tried to make sense of it all.

"Oh fuck it worked."

Jo glared at Carmen, pleading for an explanation with his eyes as she covered her mouth, fluttering her eyelashes as she tried to take it all in.

"Carlos said he could turn you into a woman. I thought he was joking." She shook her head and Jo grabbed at her shoulders, forcing her to look at him.

"Carlos did this? Make him turn me back!" Jo felt like it was someone else talking, it didn't sound like his voice, it was more like listening to his sister talk. It was jarring to hear it, at least when he wasn't looking at his body he could almost push it out of his mind, but every time he spoke it brought it all back.

"He's already on his way to meet his family for the summer." Carmen looked worried, scared even, but Jo couldn't worry about her, not now, he just needed everything to go back to normal, and quickly.

"Let's go to Spain then." Jo stood up, grabbing his bag and staring at Carmen. "Well, let's go."

"He's off to some private island with them." Carmen didn't even know the name of it, and she wasn't sure his family would be best pleased if she and Jo gate-crashed their holiday. "Let's just go on holiday with Marcus, I'll say you were busy and introduce you as my friend, at least we can have a nice couple of weeks away."

Jo took a deep breath, trying to force his body to relax so that he wouldn't yell at Carmen. "That's it? Just go on holiday and hope this fixes itself?" Jo compressed his lips and folded his arms, he didn't care how childish sulking was, at least it was a comfort.

"Jo." Carmen rested her forehead against his. "I'm so sorry, but it's going to be two weeks before we can sort this, so let's just go and enjoy our holiday."

He couldn't think of a better solution, going home would only cause more problems and at least on holiday he could hide away from the world. "Fine."

They rushed down to get their taxi, Carmen holding his hand the entire time, at least he had a friend in all this. He couldn't imagine going through it all alone.

*

Checking in for their flight had been an experience, his passport had, unsurprisingly, his photo in it, and he would be the first to admit that he didn't exactly look like that anymore.

"It's an old photo." Jo compressed his lips, he was sure that he was going to end stuck in Germany, and worst of all, having to call his dad to sort all of this mess out.

The woman on the check in desk said 'oh' in a judgemental tone and Jo felt attacked, but he knew that getting into an argument with her wasn't going to make his flight any better and since he'd have to go through all this again before he got on the plane, he'd better save his energy.

Once they were through security, Carmen went to get them coffee and Jo headed to the toilet. He wandered into the men's bathroom, heading towards the urinal before realising that it wasn't going to be any use to him in this body. Luckily in trackies and a baggy hoodie no-one said anything and he scurried out in search of the ladies'.

It felt awful to be in the ladies' bathroom, he didn't look up and he was glad that there was no equivalent of the urinal here. It was the most stressful wee that he'd ever had, and he was hoping that he wouldn't need to go again before he was on the plane. He made a mental note to use the toilets on the plane before landing, that would tide him over until they were at the cabin.

He pulled his hood around his face, hiding his red cheeks and he washed his hands before slinking out. The feeling that he had done something wrong, something bad, wouldn't leave him and he was shaking by the time he got back to Carmen.

She handed him the coffee without a word, slinging her arm around him and resting her head on his shoulder, both comfy now that their usual routine had been resumed. As much as Jo wanted to be furious with Carmen, he was sure that he would have done the same out of curiosity, and he wasn't sure what to think about the idea that Carlos was some kind of magician.

The flight was uneventful, Jo wasn't usually a good flyer but with all the other worries he didn't have a chance to feel anxious about being in the air. It was the only upside to his situation.

*

Marcus was waiting for them at the airport and Jo had to resist the urge to hug him and cry on his shoulder. It was torture to see his best friend and not be able to tell him everything, although he would think it was a cruel joke.

Carmen strode up to Marcus giving him a hug while Jo hung back. Marcus was glancing around the arrivals hall and Carmen said, "Jo couldn't make it so I brought a friend."

"Oh." Marcus' smile faded and Jo knew that his holiday was ruined, but he couldn't think of any better solution that this so he would just have to hope that Marcus would have a nice holiday without his best friend.

"This is Josephina," Carmen said, as Marcus snorted in laughter.

"You brought a different Jo." Marcus' smile made Jo feel a little better and he went in for a hug, the brush of Marcus' fluffy stubble and the smell of his washing powder so familiar and Jo felt himself relax for the first time since he'd realised that he was stuck in the wrong body this morning.

"Trevligt att traffas," Jo said, and Marcus smiled, he often remarked how he missed his home language since everyone spoke English. Although 'nice to meet you' wasn't really stretching Jo's language skills.

"Talar du svensk?" Marcus asked, he would be thrilled if there was someone else to speak Swedish to on holiday.

"En lite." Jo knew a little bit, some common phrases, he could just about hold a conversation, but since Marcus was the one who taught him, he didn't want to say anything that would give away who he was. "But we should probably speak in English since Carmen doesn't speak any Swedish."

"Thank you." Carmen smiled with relief, this was going to work, Marcus was smiling and chatting away to Jo, and she, _he_ , was spinning him a story that he worked at Enstone in the offices. It was all nice and sociable, although she knew that Jo was going to be on edge for the whole time, and Marcus, as much as he tried, couldn't hide the disappointment that his best friend wasn't here. Not that he knew of anyway.

They waited for Will to get in, when he landed he should have got the text that Jo sent saying he wasn't coming and that he gave the ticket to a friend of Carmen's.

Marcus gave Will a hug and they headed out to the car, Will asking Jo a lot of questions and Carmen looking at them both with an odd expression on her face. Part relief, part waiting for disaster to strike.

*

The cabin was nice, secluded, and Marcus had brought enough food for the week. The sun was bright as they took their bags into the cabin, and that was when Jo realised that they had another problem. There was only two bedrooms, and it would be strange if he shared with anyone other than Carmen. The original plan was that Marcus and Jo would share a room, and a bed, Carmen would have the spare room and Will would sleep on the sofa, although it wouldn't be the first or the last time that he'd shared a bed with him and Marcus.

But in this body, that made everything more awkward. "Are you okay with sharing a room?" Jo whispered to Carmen and she nodded, giving him a hug and the way his breasts pressed into Carmen's felt strange, a horrible reminder that he was in the wrong body.

Jo took a deep breath, choking back the tears and he cuddled into Carmen. Will decided to share with Marcus rather than sleep on the sofa and they both joked that at least no-one would be kicking them in their sleep this time. Jo hadn't realised that he was a restless sleeper and he felt bad for Carmen if that was true.

"We were up early so we might take a nap," Carmen said, and Marcus yawned as if on cue.

"We could lie out by the lake and nap, it's lovely and warm outside," Marcus said, grabbing the sunblock and a few blankets. Will found the beer, and Carmen went to find her bikini.

Jo wasn't sure what he was going to wear, was he really going to spend the week in joggers and t-shirts? But they were comfy and he wasn't sure what else he was going to wear. Why didn't he think of this before they got here? It was too late now, he'd just have to make do.

The walk down to the lake was nice, the warmth and the scent of nature in the air. Carmen held Jo's hand and there was silence as they walked, nothing to say that they wanted Marcus or Will to overhear. Once they were close to the lake, Carmen ducked into the trees, emerging in her bikini and causing Jo to blush.

"Will you help me with the sunscreen?" Carmen asked, and Jo wanted to say no, but he realised that in this body, it wasn't as weird as when he was in his own body. Although they were good friends, and he knew something that no-one else did, that Carmen was a lesbian, which made watching guys creep on her in the paddock funny yet horrifying all at the same time.

Once she was covered in sunscreen she lay out, sunglasses on as she let the sun's rays energise her, revelling in the fact that she was able to let her guard down around friends.

Marcus stripped off until he was naked, lying out on his front. "I'm going to go snow blind with how white your bum is," Carmen said, laughing as Marcus just flexed his muscles, although as Will stripped off his clothes she merely raised an eyebrow. It was definitely a close call as to who was pastier.

There was nothing but exposed skin, luxuriating in the freedom, and Jo felt overdressed, but he didn't want anyone to see what he looked like. Not even himself.

Jo shrugged off his hoodie and rolled up his joggers but that was as much as he could bear to see of his body. No-one said anything and it was a relief, he picked his book out of Carmen's handbag and started to read, thankful for the peace and quiet, the sound of the water soothing him and he dozed off while reading, but it was a temporary respite for his burdened mind.

He woke up as Carmen was nudging his shoulder, Marcus and Will were dressed and the sun was starting to dip behind the trees.

"How long was I asleep for?" Jo looked at Carmen with bleary eyes, his post sleep haze giving him a false sense of peace as the horror of his situation returned.

"Only a couple of hours, we're going to go and make dinner now." Carmen's voice was soft and he nodded, food sounded like a good idea, apart from the coffee that he'd had at the airport, he hadn't had anything else to eat or drink today.

Marcus cooked and Jo saw that there were hobnobs stashed away in the cupboards, which Marcus must have brought just for him. He was so lucky to have him as a friend, not that he would ever know that his gesture was appreciated.

Food had Jo feeling a little bit more like himself but he knew that it was all going to catch up with him when he had to get a shower before bed, maybe he could wait until tomorrow morning, although after travelling today it would be nice to get clean.

An early night was declared so that they could be up at a reasonable time tomorrow and Carmen let Jo use the shower first, handing him two towels. It was a pain to wash his hair, it was so long and it kept getting tangled in his fingers, although he hadn't brushed it today so he wasn't sure what he expected. Washing the rest of him was done as quickly as possible, not wanting to touch the bits of himself that were unfamiliar.

It wasn't long until he was back in the bedroom, hunting for something to wear to bed when Carmen threw him a long t-shirt.

"It's the comfiest thing to sleep in. It's my favourite." She smiled at him and he nodded in response. Jo wanted to feel guilty about being a burden to her, but since this was Carmen's fault, he didn't feel as bad about it.

He crawled into bed next to Carmen, although they'd fallen asleep on sofas and beds together before, they'd always been fully clothed and it had never been planned.

She wrapped her arms around him, holding him tight before whispering, "I'm so sorry about this sweetie. I didn't think it would work, I just thought Carlos was trying to wind me up."

Jo wanted to ask why she did it, but he didn't want to think about it anymore and sleep was calling him. He closed his eyes and darkness claimed him, giving him peace for six hours.

*

_There were guys swarming all around him, all leering at him as he tried to get away from them but there was no escape. Everywhere he looked there were men trying to get his attention, staring at him as though he was nothing more than an object to them, a prize to be won by any means necessary._

His limbs were thrashing as he tried to run away, Carmen was startled out of her sleep as he kicked her, and she tried to stroke the side of his face, hoping it would calm him but his eyes were still darting around and in the end she shook Jo awake, it seemed better than leaving him trapped in his nightmare.

"Are you okay sweetie?" Carmen whispered, it was still early and she knew how grumpy Marcus would be if he was woken up as the sun was just beginning to rise.

"Ugh, I didn't sleep well."

"Cup of tea? Marcus got those biscuits that you like." Carmen gave him a hug and he felt himself relax, although he was soaked in sweat and he was more tired than when he went to sleep. But at least there was nothing particular to do on holiday, so it didn't matter how tired he was. It was the one advantage to Marcus being a world class sleeper, Jo could nap without feeling guilty about it.

Jo sipped at his cup of tea, it was warm and sweet and he wanted to wrap himself up in this feeling of comfort for the rest of the holiday.

"I know what will make you feel better, let's go for a jog," Carmen said, as Jo was finishing his tea, nibbling on a biscuit as though he was a hamster.

A jog did sound nice, and Jo went to get dressed, but as he found out his gym clothes Carmen held up what looked like a tiny vest. Jo raised an eyebrow and she wandered over before whispering, "It's a sports bra."

Jo looked at it suspiciously before feeling his breasts, they weren't much bigger than his pecs so he wouldn't need anything like that, would he? "They're pretty much the same as they were before, I'll be fine."

"Trust me." Carmen's tone had Jo worrying but he just left the offending item on the bed, ignoring Carmen's glare.

They'd barely got to the end of the path when Jo knew that he was wrong. More wrong than he'd ever been before. Pecs were muscle, they were fine when jogging, but breasts were something else altogether. In the end he'd run with his hands over them, holding them in place as they took a leisurely jog around the lake. Well, hopefully it was nice for Carmen, because for Jo it was a strange form of punishment for his own stubbornness.

"You were right," Jo said as he stopped running, the awkwardness of it, wondering how women managed to do anything with them getting in the way.

"Told you." Carmen tried not to smile and she compressed her lips together to stifle a laugh. Jo just shook his head, wondering how he was going to manage another eight days of this.

As Jo got out of the shower, he was aware of voices coming from the living room and he wrapped himself up in the towels, feeling awkward about his body.

He didn't normally bother about it, he'd just sling a towel around his waist and if people got a glimpse of him then so be it. They'd all seen him naked at some point or another and it was no big deal, they were all friends. But in this body he felt like he should be covered, that it was somehow shameful to be seen naked, and he wasn't sure why he thought that. Was it just the shock of being in the wrong body? Or did it run deeper than that?

Jo said hi to Marcus and Will, they both said good morning and Jo nodded as he made a beeline for the bedroom, unable to look either of them in the eye. He got dressed in a hurry, glad that his boxer briefs weren't too uncomfortable to wear with his new genitals.

When he emerged there was the sound of water running, Carmen must be in the shower and Jo crept over to where Marcus and Will were sitting, making himself comfy on a chair as he took the cup of tea that Will offered him. He was going to need a lot of tea to get through these next few days without losing his mind.

"Did you sleep well?" Jo asked, and Marcus' laugh was so abrupt that he almost spilt his tea.

"Really well. Jolyon who was meant to come, he's a fidget when he's asleep, so it was nice not to be kicked all night." Marcus laughed some more and Will sniggered, shaking his head.

Jo had no idea he was such a restless sleeper and he was somewhat glad that he wasn't in the right body to disturb them all night, although in future he would just offer to sleep on the sofa. That seemed like an easier solution than Carlos' body-swapping voodoo.

Breakfast was nice and Jo was glad that Carmen was helping him fill in any gaps in his story as he told them all about working for Renault, until the dreaded question came up.

"Carmen, you can tell us if Jo's dating someone." Will sipped at his tea, he looked more like their dad every day and it was strange to think of his baby brother as a grown up. "We wouldn't blame him for ditching us for a girl."

"Or guy." Marcus raised an eyebrow and Will just looked at him before nodding.

Marcus laughed and Jo stared at Carmen, wondering what she was going to say. Instead she let out a manic sounding laugh, vibrating with how funny she found it and it took her a couple of minutes to calm down enough to speak in whole sentences. "Jo? Dating? Nope. It's just last minute media commitments." Carmen shrugged before taking another bite of her cereal. "You know that he's in love with racing, and no-one will ever come close to that."

There was more laughter and Jo joined in, hoping no-one noticed the strained quality to his laugh, although they didn't know him, so they would hopefully just assume that it was his normal laugh.

They headed into town after breakfast, Jo had found a pair of jeans that fitted over his hips, and he was going to wear them to death over the holiday, but he did feel more like himself with them. Carmen had found him a vest top, a compromise since none of her bras were going to fit him.

When he saw his reflection in the mirror he still found it jarring but at least the clothes made him feel more like his usual self. What he wasn't prepared for was the way people talked to him. Being called 'Miss' was strange and he had to resist the urge to correct them, since she didn't want to talk about her situation. But being talked to like he was stupid, that was starting to get on his nerves.

Random strangers were telling him to smile, which was unnerving, and made him want to scowl even more. He wasn't really one to smile much, and he didn't get why other people cared. Also the comments about his appearance were just plain rude.

They'd gone to get a coffee and two guys standing behind Jo in the queue had whispered loudly about how flat-chested she was and when Jo had told them not to be so rude she'd just got a barrage of abuse which didn't stop until Marcus said, "What did you say about my girlfriend?"

Jo was glad that Marcus had stepped in, but he was fuming that those two creeps had the nerve to talk about him like that while he was standing there, and that they had apologised to Marcus, but not him.

Marcus had held his hand for a while until he looked less likely to punch the next person who came near him. Carmen had asked if he was okay, but he wasn't able to put the rage into words, so he said nothing.

It had ruined his afternoon, and he was glad when they were finally back at the cabin, he retreated to the bedroom until dinner, not wanting to talk to anyone for a while. At least until he'd calmed down a bit.

Dinner was nice and he helped Carmen do the dishes, they'd all agreed to take turns cooking and cleaning, which seemed fair and the nice repetitive task was soothing his mind.

"Are you okay?" Carmen whispered as she dried a plate.

"Yeah. It's just scary having strangers act like that." Jo couldn't look her in the eye, he knew that she must live with this all the time, and when he thought back to a lot of the times people came up to her to chat in the paddock, they were often equally as rude and dismissive. Which was made worse by the fact that he'd never even noticed, and he'd never stood up for her the way Marcus stood up for him. He was a lousy friend. "How do you put it up with it?"

"I'm used to it."

Those words sounded heart breaking to Jo, and he hugged Carmen, holding her tight even though he was getting soap suds on her top. "I'm sorry sweetie."

They curled up together in bed, holding each other close, the familiarity of Carmen a wonderful shield from the world, and all the problems that went with his new body.

*

After a day lounging around by the lake, Marcus suggested that they go back into town tomorrow, and see a movie. Jo liked the sound of that, but the thought of going out in public and having to deal with everyone was enough to make him want to just sleep until the holiday was all over.

He'd confided in Carmen and her suggestion was even more baffling. "You should wear a nice dress, a cardigan, nothing too showy, just feminine enough. And you're going to have to shave your legs."

Jo sighed, he didn't even shave his beard if he didn't have to, and the thought of shaving both his legs was disheartening.

"And this fuzz." Carmen stroked at his underarm hair and he flinched as she tickled him.

"Fine." Jo slumped off to the shower, razor in hand and wondered how hard it would be just to get rid of a few hairs.

Nearly an hour later Jo was on the brink of tears, he'd cut himself several times and it seemed like every time he looked down there was bits that he'd missed. In the end he'd settled for good enough, and hoped that it would appease Carmen. Although he knew that it wasn't Carmen's standards that he was living up to, it was society, their oppressor and abuser rolled into one judgemental mass of people.

He couldn't understand why people cared how he dressed, or if he shaved, and he really couldn't understand why people would judge others on things they couldn't control. He didn't ask for these breasts, and he definitely didn't get to pick what size they were.

By the time he got into bed he was sore and angry, his skin felt like it was on fire where he had shaved and he'd made the mistake of putting deodorant onto his now fur free underarms, which was probably the stupidest thing that he'd ever done.

He felt nothing but anger at the world and that seeped into his dreams, leaving him wriggling and writhing on the bed as Carmen tried to calm him.

*

The next morning, Carmen had helped him get dressed, which had included padding one of her bras with rolled up socks and doing his make-up.

As she was arranging the socks so that his breast sat nicely in the bra he felt himself getting hard before remembering that he didn't have anything to get hard any more. And that was when he felt it, he could feel himself getting moist in his underwear. He should have asked Carmen to stop, but he didn't know what to say without it sounding strange so he held his breath and waited for her to finish.

It felt so strange, not just because of the new and strange sensation that he was having to deal with, but because it was Carmen, his friend who he didn't think of in that way. He loved her, the way that he loved his family, but he wasn't sexually attracted to her. It was the same with Marcus.

Although now that he was in another body, had his preferences changed? Surely he'd still be attracted to the same type of people that he was before?

He was bi but he didn't really like labels, although since he didn't really date it wasn't that important. He was more the 'lust from a distance over people and then wank in the shower' kind of guy. And when he put it like that to himself, he wondered what he was going to do if he was stuck in this body.

Jo wasn't stupid, he was aware that women must masturbate, but without any experience with women to base it on, it was going to be a steep learning curve. Although he didn't plan on being stuck in this body long enough to have to need that information.

"You look really pretty," Carmen said, as she finished putting lip gloss on him. When he looked in the mirror he almost didn't recognise himself, although he wasn't really sure what he meant when he thought of himself anymore, which was a strange feeling.

"Thanks." Jo had to admit that the bright colours did make him feel a little better, but he wasn't sure that he would be able to find the time to do all the things that women seemed required to do just to go out in public. He would definitely become a hermit if this was his life.

*

Dressing 'appropriately' had stopped a lot of the comments, and Jo felt a little more at ease in this body, although he was starting to worry that he couldn’t quite remember all the little details about his old body.

A few days passed and Jo was starting to feel like he was actually enjoying his holiday when he heard Will say something that made him want to scream.

"You and Jo are quite friendly. Are you going to sleep with her?"

Jo couldn't believe Will would ask something like that, he and Marcus were friends, very good friends but they just didn't feel that way about each other. Although when he was in his other body, he got all of this about Carmen, but he just dismissed it then, it definitely felt worse to be on the side where he was just the object. He still didn't understand why people always wanted there to be something more to their friendship, from what he'd seen of friends who were dating, his friendship with Carmen, and Marcus, was a more stable relationship than they had.

"No. We're friends, and I'm happy with that. I'm not looking for anything more," Marcus said, and he didn't sound best pleased about having to explain himself.

Jo wasn't sure why Marcus was sticking up for him, as far as Marcus knew, they were strangers less than a week ago. But he was glad that someone was sticking up for him.

They went down to the lake, Jo wearing Carmen's swim suit so that it would cover his scar, he was sure that Marcus would recognise it and he didn't want to explain, it was starting to feel like he was an imposter, listening to people talk about him without realising that he was right there.

Splashing around in the water calmed him and he was enjoying it when he saw Will just sitting on the shore, and he went up to see that he was okay.

Will was texting away, smiling at his phone as Jo wandered up to him, and Jo couldn't remember the last time that Will looked that happy without racing being involved.

"Girlfriend?" Jo asked, although he would like to think that he would know if Will was dating someone, they were very close and he was sure that he knew everything that was going on in his life.

"Boyfriend." Will raised an eyebrow and Jo wanted to say 'really?' but he caught himself just in time. So much for he would know if Will was dating someone.

Will showed him a picture of him and another man, both lying out on the grass on a warm summer's day. They both looked so happy and Jo smiled, he was glad that Will had someone.

"What does he do?"

"He's a photographer." Will started scrolling through all the photos of them, they were all beautifully shot and they were both smiling in every one.

"You make a lovely couple." Jo knew that he sounded strange when he said it, small talk wasn't his thing, but he wanted his brother to know it. "Do your family know?"

Will's smile disappeared and Jo felt bad for bringing it up but his curiosity wanted to know if he'd told their parents without telling him.

"No. I'm sure that they would be fine with it but I just want to get my career started and then I'll worry about coming out to the world." Will locked his phone, sliding back into his pocket as he fidgeted with his hands, it was a Palmer family trait, they were unable to sit still if their life depended on it, and stressful situations only made it worse.

"I'm sure they would love you no matter what, Carmen's told me all about your brother, she says that you two are close." Jo was suddenly compelled to tell Will that it was really him, that this woman's body that Will saw was just a cruel trick that Carlos Sainz, the Formula One driver, managed to do with his magical powers. He knew that it sounded crazy, and it would only scare Will, so he said nothing. Glad that at least he'd been here for Will to confide in him, and that he could offer a little support in return.

*

There was only two days left before the holiday was over and Jo was so relieved. Carmen had texted Carlos to check that he'd be back in London at the same time as them and his place was going to be their first stop after they landed. It was all going to be okay.

Jo felt his guts twist and he tried to think what he ate last night that might have disagreed with him, but it was the same food that they'd been eating all holiday, mainly rice and pasta, nothing fancy. He sat up and his legs felt heavy, his breasts seemed tender too, but it must just be the way he slept. It wasn't until he was sitting on the edge of the bed, preparing to move, when he saw what was wrong.

He was bleeding.

"Fuck." There was blood everywhere, and it looked like so much, it was an almost worrying amount.

"Are you okay?" Carmen asked, and when she went in for a hug, she saw the blood.

"No. Not fine, not fine at all." Jo was trying to keep his voice low but he was panicking and he didn't know what to do. "Is there meant to be this much blood?"

"Yes, it's normal." Carmen held him tight and he felt a little better but then he looked down to see all the blood and started worrying.

"Normal?" He'd never seen this much blood without having to go to hospital and Carmen's reassuring voice wasn't quite enough to convince him.

"Go get a shower and I'll sort the sheets," Carmen gave him a kiss on the cheek and he nodded, blushing when he saw how much of a mess that he'd made.

Watching the blood drain away in the shower made it look so much more than it was, but the warm water made him feel better and it didn't feel that bad. It wasn't pleasant but he could live with it.

He had finished cleaning when the bathroom door opened, it was only Carmen but it didn't stop him trying to cover himself with the shower curtain. She held out a small box and just the sight of them made Jo feel strange.

"Nope."

"They're just tampons." Carmen kept her voice low, barely audible over the sound of the running water, she didn't want Marcus or Will to hear them. "They're just little bits of cotton."

Jo could feel the blood oozing out of him and his stomach twisted itself in knots. "I have sisters, I know what they are." Jo glared at her, but she only stared back. "Still no."

"You've not got a choice." Carmen folded her arms and came in closer.

Jo didn't like the sound of any of this, he felt dizzy and it wasn't from the blood loss. "Don't you have pads?"

"These do the same job." Carmen bit her lip and Jo could see that she was worried. "Don't worry they won't take your virginity."

"Not the point." Jo kept his voice low but he could hear the anger bubbling under the surface. "Two weeks ago I didn't have a vagina, and now you're expecting me to shove things in it?" Jo didn't care that he was naked in front of Carmen with blood running down his leg, he would rather bleed everywhere than use tampons.

The bathroom door opened and Jo pulled the shower curtain around him. Jo could feel his cheeks burn with embarrassment, this was the only thing that could have possibly made this situation worse.

Marcus held out his hand, in it was two thin pads which he left by the side of the sink. Jo felt his heart rate drop but he couldn't look either of them in the eye. "I'm going to head to the shops, I'll get more."

"Thank you." Carmen ushered Marcus out of the bathroom, it was one of the few times that Jo would have liked a lock on the door, and Jo stood under the water until he felt calm again.

By the time he emerged Marcus and Carmen were gone and Will was sleeping. Jo curled up in bed, feeling drained and exhausted, before letting out a little whimper, wondering just how cruel Carlos was.

He was dozing when Marcus and Carmen returned, he heard them moving around but he couldn't face getting out of bed. The pain seemed to be getting steadily worse and he was sure something was wrong.

Marcus came in with a cup of tea and a bar of chocolate, and Jo tried to sit up but the pain was too much. The bed dipped as Marcus sat down, keeping a respectful distance, Carmen was obviously still mad at him but he couldn't deal with that right now.

"Here, take these." Marcus handed him two painkillers and he washed them down with a sip of tea, it was sweeter than he was used to but he could tell it was what his body needed.

"Thank you. I'm sorry about this." Jo felt awful, he'd made a mess and now Marcus was taking care of him. He must look like the most disorganised woman, but that was better than Marcus knowing the truth. "I got my dates muddled."

"You don't have to lie to me, Jolyon."

Jo froze in fright, he looked up to where Marcus was sitting and he could see nothing but concern in his eyes. "How did you know?"

"It had my suspicions, but then your scar… I'd recognise it anywhere." Marcus sat next to him on the bed, unwrapping the chocolate bar and offering Jo a piece. He ate it without a word, Marcus cuddling in closer so that the warmth of his body could comfort him.

Carmen slunk into the room, holding what looked like a small pillow. "How are you feeling?"

"Awful. I think there might be something wrong, there's stabbing pains now."

"Sorry sweetie, that's normal." Carmen wandered over to sit on the other side of him, across from Marcus, before placing the pillow on his abs, it was warm and Jo felt the water splosh around inside it. "This should help."

It did seem to ease some of the pain, and the tea and chocolate was helping too. Marcus snuggled in and Jo could tell that he was preparing to sleep, and a nap did seem like a good idea.

Jo got comfy, clutching the hot-water bottle and letting Marcus cuddle in behind him, wrapping his arms around him. He was relieved that Marcus hadn't asked too many questions, since he didn't really have any satisfactory answers and he was too tired to relive it all. Jo felt Carmen slide out of bed, she wasn't one for napping, and he drifted off to sleep, glad that the pain had subsided. For now.

*

After a day spent napping and drinking tea, Jo couldn't believe that he was still tired, but he was heading back to London today, and that was all that mattered. Even the pain couldn't keep a smile off his face.

Marcus had decided to come back to London with them, and Jo was glad to have another friend standing by his side, the flight had given him time to fill Marcus in on what happened, while Carmen had the decency to look a little guilty about it.

By the time they got to Carlos' flat it was dinner time but Jo wanted this whole mess fixed before they got food.

"Hi." Carlos stared at the people gathered around the door, Jo wasn't sure if he didn't expect to see so many people, or if Carlos was shocked by his appearance.

Carlos ushered them in to his flat, it was small but spacious and Jo realised how similar their places were. Although neither of them were home often enough to need anything more.

There was no small talk, no questions about their holidays, just Carlos leading them into his kitchen, where he'd drawn out a pentagram in ketchup, which looked a little too much like blood for Jo's comfort.

Carlos took a small piece of paper out of his wallet, he unfolded it to reveal something scribbled on it, along with the name of the hotel they'd stayed in back in Germany. It felt like so long ago but it was only a couple of weeks, but a lot had happened in those two weeks.

He beckoned for Carmen and Jo to kneel beside the pentagram, placing their hands so that they were equally spaced around the outside of it.

"If you don't believe, you need to leave the room," Carlos said to Marcus, there was no trace of a smile on his face and he seemed nervous, which didn't fill Jo with confidence.

"I'm staring at my best friend trapped in a woman's body. I believe." Marcus leant back against the worktop, keeping himself out of the way.

Carlos sat down and started chanting, Jo had no idea what he was saying but as long as it put everything back to normal he didn't care. He held out the piece of paper before lighting it on fire, it burned all the way down to Carlos' fingers, the ashes floating down onto the pentagram.

"It's done."

Jo felt at his body and was disappointed. "I still have breasts." He thought about checking other things but that would have to wait until he didn't have an audience.

"When you wake up tomorrow, you'll be back in your own body." Carlos looked down at the floor, and Jo wanted to say that he would forgive him, but he was waiting until he was back in the right body.

"I'll take you home," Carmen said, but Jo shook his head, he still felt conflicted about all of this, he just wanted to go home and sleep, although he should probably eat something.

Jo felt a hand on his shoulder, he hadn't heard Marcus move, but there he was standing behind him. "I'll take you home. I've ordered pizza that should be arriving just as we do, so we better get a move on."

Marcus helped him to his feet, grabbing their bags before ushering him out of the flat without even saying goodbye. It was probably best that they didn't talk again until this was all sorted. Jo's stomach rumbled and he hoped that Marcus had really ordered pizza, and it wasn't just an excuse to get them out of there quickly. Although he was glad that one of them had thought to do that.

They got a taxi and pulled up outside Jo's flat at the same time as the guy delivering the pizza. Just the smell of the pizza made Jo feel better and he knew that this much food would make him sleepy. All he wanted was for it to be tomorrow, and he would hopefully be able to put all this craziness behind him.

Marcus went to make a cup of tea, and put the ice-cream in the freezer so it wouldn't melt, as Jo retreated to bed with the pizza, glad that he had Marcus to look after him.

They ate in silence, Jo wasn't sure what to say, in the end all he could manage was, "Thank you."

"What are friends for?" Marcus smiled as he took another bite out of the pizza.

"What if this doesn't work? What if I'm stuck like this?" Jo sipped at his tea, holding the pizza box over his lap so that the warmth acted as a hot-water bottle.

"I will still be your friend, and I'll be here to make you tea and feed you every month."

Jo's eyes went wide, he'd only been suffering for two days, but the idea that if he stayed like this he would have to go through it every month for the next forty or so years, that was terrifying.

"How do women do this? Everything's so difficult, guys are creeps, other women are judgemental, no matter what you do it's an unwinnable situation." Jo cuddled into Marcus, his appetite gone as the familiar churning of his stomach returned, he wasn't usually one to worry about things but it was all he had done lately.

"You have sisters, you should already know that it's hard for women. Even if they get into the higher ranks of their field, they still have to put up with all the other discrimination. It doesn't change the fact that society is inherently misogynistic."

Jo looked at Marcus, they never talked about these things, it didn't come up in conversation, but Jo realised that was just one of the many reasons that his attitude to women was somewhat flawed.

"Do you think I deserved this?" Jo wasn't sure that he wanted an answer.

"No. What Carlos did was wrong, but you should be supporting women rather than dismissing their views."

"Carmen told you about that?" Jo felt bad, but they were definitely even now.

"Yes." Marcus looked almost disappointed and Jo felt tears preparing to stream down his cheeks. Jo cried himself to sleep, held by Marcus as he tried to wipe away the tears, but there were too many.

*

Jo woke up the next morning to the sound of Marcus softly snoring and birds chirping away. It was light, but it was still early. He got out of bed carefully, his arm numb where Marcus had been lying on it and he could feel that his eyes were puffy and crusty from all the crying. Jo felt at his chest, unsure of what to expect, but he was back to being himself and he felt relief flood through his body.

He got a shower and washed all the dried blood away, glad that he didn't have to suffer anymore, he couldn't imagine having to deal with that every month. Even with Marcus' offer to look after him.

Jo ended up sitting with a cup of tea, eating cold pizza for breakfast when he saw that he'd got a message.

_I need you to know that I'm sorry, I was mad and I thought Carlos was joking. I wouldn't have done it if I knew it would work. I never meant to cause you pain, I should have talked to you, trusted in our friendship. I hope we can still be friends._

He'd never seen Carmen write such a long message, most of their conversations were about racing or random things, and he felt conflicted. Part of him wanted to forgive her, and he would tell her that she was forgiven, but he knew that their friendship would never be the same.

By the time Marcus woke up he was on to his third cup of tea and eating ice-cream, which Marcus helped him finish.

"So, are you going to see Carmen today?" Marcus asked, watching Jo carefully so that he could judge his reaction.

"No, I've forgiven her. But I don't want to see her again until Spa."

***

Jo was sitting with Marcus at the back of the Renault garage, both relaxing before being back in the car on Friday.

"Have you spoken to Carmen and Carlos?" Marcus asked, they hadn't seen each other for just over a week, they'd both been busy at the factory before heading out to Spa.

"Yes. It's too much energy to hold a grudge." Jo shrugged, he knew Marcus was equally laid back. "Although it's going to be a while before Carmen and I are BFFs again."

"Hey, I thought I was your best friend!" Marcus looked around to see Pascal laughing, and he wandered over to say hi.

"How was your holiday?" Pascal asked, and Jo looked at Marcus before sniggering.

"It was… nice? I went away to a little lakeside cabin in Sweden with my brother and some friends." Jo could see Pascal giving him a funny look but he'd never be able to explain it all.

Pascal told him all about his holiday, and they chatted away for a while before Pascal got a message saying that he was needed.

"It's been fun watching you two flirt but I need to get back to the garage," Marcus said, after Pascal was out of earshot, "I'll see you tonight for dinner?"

"Flirt? Me?" Jo looked at Marcus, waiting for an explanation.

"You should ask him out. Or are you just going to wait and hope that you're teammates at Race of Champions again?" Marcus stood up to leave, he had a smile on his face and Jo wasn't sure what to make of it all.

"I don't think they'll want us back." Jo laughed, they were awful at it, but it was fun and that was the point of it. He did like Pascal, and not in the same way that he liked Marcus, or his brother. But he'd never imagined that Pascal would be interested in him.

"Then you'll just have to ask him on a date." Marcus waved goodbye, strolling off towards the Sauber garage.

Jo took out his phone and typed a message to Pascal. _Do you want to get a drink sometime? Jo._

It was short and to the point, they were both practical, neither of them really romantics. It was definitely them. Jo spent the day checking his phone repeatedly, to the point that it was starting to annoy those around him, but in the end it was worth it. Pascal replied with just one word.

_Yes_

***

Carmen was sitting with Carlos and Jo, chatting about their holidays when Hulk strolled past, winking at Carmen before saying, "You hitting that, Carlos?" He laughed as he walked away and Carmen stared at Carlos in disbelief.

"Maybe we should teach him a lesson?" Jo said, as Carlos blushed in apology. Although he'd forgiven him, he probably wasn't going to let it drop in the near future.

"How long should we leave him a woman? A week?" Carlos snorted in laughter.

Jo's grin took on an evil quality and Carlos looked scared. "A month."

Carmen shook her head, looking at Jo and then Carlos. "I'd have thought that you'd have both learned your lesson."

**Author's Note:**

> *and obviously none of this actually happened, it is all a figment of my twisted imagination ;)


End file.
